My Sister's Name is Hope

{source} Inspired by Emily Dickinson


Well no, my sister's name is actually Marlo - like the famed Marlo Thomas.  And it's fitting because my sister is famous, at least to me.



Looking back on my life, when I think of a source of hope and inspiration my sister comes to mind.  Without a doubt my sister, who is eight years older than me, definitely pulled me through many a tough time. Times when I felt like all was lost, or nothing was going right, or boys confused me, or I questioned myself, these are all moments when my sister shined a light - a ray of hope - for me to see.


Take the time when I was 14 (or so?) and dealing with my period.  [This is not graphic, keep reading].  Tampons confused the heck outta me.  After 30-plus minutes in the bathroom I came out intimidated, scared, overwhelmed and just plain hormonal, and broke down in tears.  Marlo saw my pain, empathized with my frustration and pulled me into her closet with a bunch of tampons.  [again, not graphic, keep going]  She calmly told me that tampons were silly and nothing to fear.  Then I watched her literally fling one out of the package into the air.  She handed me a bunch and proceeded to rip open more packaging and shoot them like torpedoes around us.  Before long we were laughing, and laughing so hard tears streamed down my face.  My sister managed to calm my fears, soothe my worries, and make me cry again - but in a good way.  I felt hopeful about being a woman.


Another time I emailed her with my worries about dating and boys.  She wrote back what ended up being my maid-of-honor speech at her wedding.  "Tell boys they're smart and funny and repeat things they say."  I swear this advice only works on high school boys, but none the less she managed to build up my confidence and help me to see my self worth.  And it made a hilarious, yet heartfelt, speech, by the way.


Now here I am in Texas, miles away from my DC home, watching my sister and brother-in-law successfully raise their two daughters and I think to myself, There's no way I could EVER do this.  As I hold my 4 day-old niece, Madelyne, I think,  There's no way I could EVER give birth to two - let alone one - babies!  I watch her meet the needs of my oldest niece, Eleanor, and am amazed how she soothes both little-ones.
I ask her how she does (raise a family, have a great job, own an awesome home, successful overall).  How does she feel? Isn't she worried about, uh, stuff? and life? and raising her baby girls and the world around them?
She told me she, "hopes for the best."


Sometimes that's all it takes is a little hope to get you a little farther.
Before you know it, you're there.
You just gotta fling tampons and give wacky advice.
And hope.

 My sister and I, with her two daughters ...sisters!

Letter to Myself

Dear Younger, naive, impressionable Little Vicki,
As the youngest in the family you always seemed to get what you wanted, but were by no means spoiled.  By the same token, you were quiet and sincere - so hushed, in fact, that your parents put you in acting classes to help you feel comfortable in front of people. Something clicked because now you love attention and crave the chance to take the stage, and do so for 20+ students daily.

But more importantly, Slick (coordination wasn't your thing), when it came to weddings and Your Big Day, you had it figured out.  You wanted the big, poofy white dress and tiara.  You saw pink and blue accents everywhere.  You loved flowers and dancing.   In your mind, your prince charming would scoop you off your feet and carry you into your new home, after your honeymoon to Hawaii (because that's the farthest place away with pretty beaches that you knew).


Dear Teenage Vicki,
Oh hormonally imbalanced and drama queen, you set the stage for a more reserved wedding.  It was at this point in life you decided that lace and flowers sucked.  No filigree or flourish stood a chance at your wedding where you want to wear a sophisticated, column ivory gown.  Curse any PINK you came across, as it was your favorite four letter word to throw around.   Calm down, child -- you might think you know it all but just wait until you really hit the dating world.  Your demands challenged many men, scared many away and thank goodness for that.

Oh but Little Vicki and Teenage Vicki, your thoughts and desires did help to mold my dream wedding for the present.  Blue is still a favored color and pink still doesn't stand a chance.  There's NO WAY a fluffy, frilly, gown will grace my body, but a column won't accent what I want.  Hawaii's fun and all, but we're onto to other countries now, and since I already own a place I probably won't be carried through the doorway...but a girl can dream, can't she?  If anything I have my younger self to thank for that.

Love,
Your Older Wiser Self

PS:  Don't waste your time with that one guy. There are better things ahead I promise!