(Wedding Recap) The Dollar Dance!

Immediately after the Hora we moved into another fun family tradition: the dollar dance (older post on the Polish history of the dollar dance).  It was completely exhausting going from the 25 minute hora to a 15 minute polka, and simultaneously fun. 

See, you pay a dollar to dance with the bride.
And then we use that money for the honeymoon (or to start the couple's life -- same diff).

My mom and sister collected the money for me while the dancers lined up and waited their turns.

My brother-in-law actually knows how to polka and totally whisked me around the dance floor!

My cousin is also amazing.

(so is my whooshing dress in this pic!)

My girl friends, in on the fun!

My dad, rocking the accordion again, with my aunt & uncle.

Because he's also amah-zing.

And of course my niece enjoyed the fun dancing too!

This great tradition really captured my Polish side & allowed me some individual time with friends and relatives.  (I especially loved when cousin Steve brought me a glass of water!)

L'Shana Tova

Happy (Jewish) New Year! 

Rosh Hashanah, being one of my favorite holidays, is cause for celebration and reflection.  It's not all confetti and ball-dropping, like the cultural United States new year, though. 
I love the juxtaposition of joy and somber feelings during Rosh Hashanah.  We think back on our year and hope that any downfalls and shortcomings will be forgiven, any commitments broken will be overlooked, and any unintentional cause for hurt will all be forgotten with the promise of the new year.

During the two days of services many prayers, poems, psalms and declarations are chanted and sung.
The poem U'netaneh Tokef (literally "we shall ascribe holiness to this day") is meant to strike fear into hearts:
 
We shall ascribe holiness to this day.
For it is awesome and terrible.
Your kingship is exalted upon it.
Your throne is established in mercy.
You are enthroned upon it in truth.
In truth You are the judge,
The exhorter, the all‑knowing, the witness,
He who inscribes and seals,
Remembering all that is forgotten.
You open the book of remembrance
Which proclaims itself,
And the seal of each person is there.
The great shofar is sounded,
A still small voice is heard.
The angels are dismayed,
They are seized by fear and trembling
As they proclaim: Behold the Day of Judgment!
For all the hosts of heaven are brought for judgment.
They shall not be guiltless in Your eyes
And all creatures shall parade before You as a troop.
As a shepherd herds his flock,
Causing his sheep to pass beneath his staff,
So do You cause to pass, count, and record,
Visiting the souls of all living,
Decreeing the length of their days,
Inscribing their judgment.
On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed,
And on Yom Kippur it is sealed.
How many shall pass away and how many shall be born,
Who shall live and who shall die,
Who shall reach the end of his days and who shall not,
Who shall perish by water and who by fire,
Who by sword and who by wild beast,
Who by famine and who by thirst,
Who by earthquake and who by plague,
Who by strangulation and who by stoning,
Who shall have rest and who shall wander,
Who shall be at peace and who shall be pursued,
Who shall be at rest and who shall be tormented,
Who shall be exalted and who shall be brought low,
Who shall become rich and who shall be impoverished.
But repentance, prayer and righteousness avert the severe decree.

These words lead directly into the Kedushah, the prayer of the sanctification of G-d's name.

And I love it.  The U'netaneh Tokef  is a favorite of mine, in a very eerie way.  The haunting melody resonates when the congregation sing the Hebrew words.  It conjures up the reality behind our day-to-day life.  It reminds us that G-d leads and has such power.  Life is fragile, fleeting.

In sharing this poem, I wanted others who do not observe Rosh Hashanah to know the power behind our New Year celebration.  There are ten days of repentance, starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur.  While judgement is pronounced on Rosh Hashanah, it is sealed on Yom Kippur. These Ten days are a chance to relent and seek forgiveness.  We celebrate the chance for a new year, but remember that repentance, prayer, and charity shape us and can change judgement.  I almost feel like Jews wish others Happy New Year to avert & even out the potential solemnity during this time.

I know this post is out of character for me.  I don't go all preachy & only mention religious traditions observed.  But Rosh Hashanah speaks deeply to me.

I wish you all a happy, sweet year, no matter your religious label.

  L'Shana Tova!

(Weddign Recap) The Ceremony!

Finally the time came to walk down the aisle, exchange vows & rings, and officially become husband & wife!

From my spot out of sight in the balcony, I got a good look at the crowd gathering:

 

The chuppah translates to mean "covering" or "protection" and symbolizes the new home of the married couple.  It represents our desire for our home to be under the protection of God.  The marriage ceremony in Jewish faith cannot take place without a covering and four poles.

I remember standing at the top of the stairs, sneaking a peak and waving at friends who noticed me.  I listened to Wachet Auf lead our bridal party to their positions.  I heard the laughter and "awws," telling me my niece successfully made her flower girl debut.

I popped my head phones in and half listened to the chorus of Lady Gaga's Just Dance, to get me amp'd. Truth be told: I needed no help; my nerves turned over themselves, tears welled up in my eyes.  I heard the first chords of Pachelbel's Canon softly hit the air, just as I learned to play it on the piano around age 10.

Mike began his way to the chuppah with his mom and dad on either side.

When I successfully memorized Pachelbel's Canon way back when, I knew it would guide me to my groom in the future.  And here I was.
The music filled the air as I saw our wedding planner motion for me to start down the stairs.  Surprisingly, instead of don't fall don't fall don't fall I thought This is it.

 This is it.

My wedding!

Our wedding.

My dad waited for me at the bottom, with the biggest smile on his face.  He whispered to me how gorgeous I looked.  Blinking back tears, beyond my veil I saw so many familiar faces, all in one place, all smiling back at me.  So much love. Amazing.

As I approached Mike, I saw, with out any doubt, the happiest expression to ever grace his face.  I wanted to kiss him right then and there! (I also love his brother's face in the background)

Then I began the Seven Circles around my groom.  The seven circles represent my bond to him, just as the Teffelin straps are wrapped around a man's arm.  Also the number seven nods towards the complexity of the creation of the world, just as marriage reenacts the creative process.  Interestingly, some couples share the seven circles, taking turns rotating around each other.  We went traditional and I tried not to get too dizzy and fall down as I went around him seven times. For those of you wondering, the rabbi counted for me.

In Jewish faith there are actually two parts to the marriage ceremony: Kiddushin (Betrothal) and Nisuin (Nuptials). "Both parts are introduced with the benediction over wine, the traditional symbol of joy and abundance. The bride and groom each take a sip of the wine for each." {taken from The Jewish Wedding Guide}

 

During the Kiddushin we exchanged rings, by placing them on each other's right index finger.  Apparently, long ago one used their right index finger to make a mark or signature. 

I'm honestly so excited right here.

During the Nissuin the rabbi recited seven blessings over us, love, friendship, and completeness amongst them.  
We shared our own vows here.  And let me tell you, I thought we had this one covered, but...

Well, using a stock "fill in the blank" with sentence starters, we both had the same 8 statements to make.  I added a little bit to mine and so did Mike.  We had our bridesmaid and close friend, Kathryn, read them both to ensure we were on the same wavelength and literal length.  Kat encouraged me to add a little more, but it didn't feel natural.  

After I read my half page and felt pretty proud of myself.  Then seeing Mike pull out two pages just about made me gasp out loud.  He wrote and read the most heartfelt words.  I give him a lot of strife for not being "mushy."  Not anymore!

(And so much for trying to be on the same page - I guess you can't put a limit on love!)

Our rabbi read our ketuba and hand it to me.  I "own" it now. It's mine, all mine!

Finally, after the second cup of wine, hot veil was lifted off my face.  

The last thing left to do: break the glass!

The breaking of the glass can be a reminder of the fragility of life and also an affirmation that in times of happiness there should be a touch of seriousness.  It signifies that we are still mourning over the destruction of the Holy Temple of Jerusalem.  It also serves as a reminder of the sanctity of marriage.  A broken glass cannot be mended. 

We shouted "Mazel Tov!" (good luck!)

and kissed!

We were married!

Husband & Wife.

beautiful.

{all photos taken by Studio Juno photography}

(Wedding Recap) Kettuba signing & The Bedeken!

First Mike and some buddies (witnesses) signed the kettuba (marriage contract).  From what I understand, since I was not there, shots were taken, high fives were given, and a general boy-good-time was had, amidst the seriousness.

The bedeken, in short, is the veiling ceremony.  There are many reasons behind why this tradition exists, and I enjoy this one the most:  In the Hebrew Bible, Jacob was fooled into marrying Leah who was completely veiled before and during the ceremony, instead of his intended bride Rachel. Jewish grooms today carry out this tradition to symbolically acknowledge that the bride is indeed one's beloved.

Mike came upstairs to the library (bridal ready room) with the kettuba  & his boys literally cheering him on!

I then signed our kettuba. Even though our contract was signed we were not yet officially bound to each other.  That takes place under the chuppah.

 

Isn't it beautiful? I'm so in love with our kettuba. Naomi  Broudo of Etsy made it for us.  Side-note: shipping something from Canada can take awhile and even get lost in customs.  Always leave extra time!

 Then our Rabbi said some official stuff & prayers (very technical, I know), and Mike placed my veil over me.

While blessing us, our Rabbi asked family and friends who were there to think of a special moment they shared with the two of us.  We had yet to even begin the marriage ceremony and tears were flowing already!

Mike kissed me one last time.

Everyone else headed downstairs.
I remained at the top of the stairs, ready to walk down the aisle!
Eep!

To the Mikvah!

No, the mikvah isn't a fancy batmobile for brides, but rather a small pool.  Normally one goes to the mikvah when they seek cleansing, be it after your "time of the month," childbirth, or to prepare for some holidays or something like your wedding!  It can be used by either gender, but before you enter you must be scrupulously clean.

In Jewish tradition and observance, today Mike and I will go, separately, to the mikvah to immerse and prepare ourselves for our upcoming wedding.  We will shower & brush our teeth before we leave the house. I will remove the nail polish from my toes.  There will be no jewelry worn, or even bandages covering any part of us.  The reason for this can be interpreted as needing the water to touch every single part of your body.  If you have on lotion or any barrier, the water cannot completely envelope you.

This ritual bathing serves the purpose of cleansing and preparing us for our union. 
"In many ways mikvah is the threshold separating the unholy from the holy, but it is even more. Simply put, immersion in a mikvah signals a change in status -- more correctly, an elevation in status. Its unparalleled function lies in its power of transformation, its ability to effect metamorphosis." -Chabad.org

It's not holy water, in fact it's not even blessed.  There is, however, a certain ratio of rain water to other water, to signify a connection to the earth.  But it's a special place where you go to transform yourself.  With each submersion there is a prayer to recite (and it's laminated, so if the paper gets wet no one worries). The first prayer for the mikvah translates into: Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning immersion.  The second prayer is often a silent one which comes from  your heart.  The third prayer is one my favorites because it serves as a catch all and used often: Blessed are You, our God, Creator of time and space,who has supported us, protected us, and brought us to this moment.

And then, poof! You're all spiritually clean and sparkly.  And Mike and I cannot "touch" each other until the wedding night!  
Which actually won't be a problem since he's going on his bachelor party immediately after, coming back on Friday.  Don't ask me how I feel about that.


But back to the Mikvah: it's a very unique, little known tradition.  It's personal yet follows with you for days after.  The submersion in the mivkah centers, clears your mind, and renews. 

 Oh and visiting the mikvah is not required, but rather Mike and I chose to do it. 

4 days until the wedding!!!

Ketuba Inspiration

A Ketuba is a Jewish marriage contract, or even prenuptial agreement, from the root "to write." Back in the olden days of sheep and cow trading, there were certain amounts that were rendered for virgins versus widows or even divorcees, if the marriage should fail. All this legal mumbo-jumbo (although very important!) was spelled out in Aramaic, the vernacular in Talmudic times, and both parties signed.

Now-a-days, marriage contracts are a matter of secular civil law, however the Ketuba is still regarded highly as an important tradition in which bride and groom promise themselves to each other, and still covers what will happen in the event the marriage fails. (Which won't happen to Mike and I because his life is on the line if anything happens.) (maybe I shouldn't put that in writing...)

But they are gorgeous, stunning, amazing works of art.
They make a great addition to any wall.
We need to purchase one soon, as they are personalized and customized to your needs.

Here are a few I'm drooling over...

Blue Magel Ketubah, by Ketuba Kraft on Etsy 

Ketubah Dancing Tree of Life by Naomi Broudo 

Miro Ketuba by Ketuba Kraft on Etsy

Chamsa II by Nava Shoham on Ketuba.com

 

A New Beginning IV Ketuba by Ketuba Studio's on Etsy

Which one is your favorite?
If you had a Ketuba at your wedding, where did you purchase it from?

First Dance Song?

Mike and I can't decide on a first dance song.  It's so simple, yet such a hard decision.
Part of the reason we struggle to agree and commit is because of the massive weight I put on this moment.
It's the song that will forever remind us of our wedding.  It marks such an important moment that the song must be perfect.

Mike wants something upbeat and I want something you can hear in a grocery store years from now and smile. Not to say that it has to be an elevator music song, just something timeless.

Lucky for us, we narrowed it down to ten songs.
I know what you're thinking:  Ten songs?!   For serious?
Yes. Really.

For sure we should be able to knock one or two off, right?
Nope, we love them all for different reasons.

It's funny to me that we still struggle to figure this one out, because this was the very first decision we started with, once first engaged.  I guess that just proves what a huge deal it is for us.

And no I won't tell you the ten songs, because this is the one element of the wedding that will be a surprise for all in attendance.

So, if you wouldn't mind sharing, what was (or will be) your first dance song?  And how did you choose it?

Happy Valentine's Day!

'Tis a beautiful day in the neighborhood, if you're in love and a fan of cupid.

{source}

While I strongly believe in love, I always found Valentine's Day to be a foo-foo holiday, one that materialism and marketing play much too big a role.  Truth be told, Mike and I celebrate it, but we use it more for a date excuse than anything else.  That and I demand a new stuffed animal every year.

It started out with the cheesy gorilla holding heart.  Monkey for your love? something like that.  I do some heavy tossing and turning, with high kicks, in my sleep.  The Gorilla only lasted so long.

{source}

 Next came a bean-bag style M&M guy.  Cute as he may be, you just can't cuddle something stuffed with bean pellets.  (Noted?)

{source}

Most recently, Dangles, the softest, most cuddly monkey joined the crew. And will never. be. replaced.

For those of you reading carefully: Yes. I do sleep with a stuffed animal.

That share? Is true, deep love.

{source}

Thank you readers, I love you!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope you find something/someone to cuddle up with tonight!

Prenuptial Counseling

We met with our Rabbi recently for round 1 of 3 of Prenuptial Counseling. This is the same Rabbi who converted me, so I feel completely comfortable with him. Because I studied extensively with him, many of the things he normally talks about with couples we already covered (like what it means to live in a Jewish home, & belonging to a synagogue).  So we brought up tons of questions we have about the ceremony.
And after only 30 minutes we ran out of things to talk about.  I'm not kidding.
He suggested that for next time we write down things we think of, and bring that list with us.

Here are a few main things we discussed:

The Sheva Berakhot (literally "the seven blessings")
This is the real meat of the Jewish marriage ceremony.  These seven blessings praise G-d and wish joy upon the bride and groom.  They are said under the Chuppah and again after dinner.  What we need to decide is who will say these blessings. We are considering how to give the honor of saying this blessings to friends and family while not taking forever.  These blessings can be said and given out in a number of ways.

Way 1) Allow 7 different Jewish people to say the blessings in Hebrew followed by 7 people (of any religion) saying the translation in English.  This way takes a long time and adds about 20 minutes on to the ceremony, considering everyone has to get up from their seat, go up to the front, say their bit, then sit down again.  It's nice, but is it practical?

Way 2) Allow 7 Jewish people to say the blessings in Hebrew, with the translation following - OR the Rabbi says the translations

Way 3) The Rabbi says it all, along with the traslations.

Remember, the Sheva Berakhot are said at two different moments.  It is possible to do it one way (have the Rabbi say it all) during the ceremony and then after dinner allow for more participation.


The Wedding Rings
As you know, I already designed and purchased my wedding ring.  But it's not kosher. Literally.
See, the ring needs to be plain, without engraving, frills, or stones.  This is to show that the ring has no perceivable ending point. It is round and unending, just as the love between husband and wife. Also Mike needs to own the ring, so that when the rabbi asks "who owns this ring" which is about to be put on my hand, Mike can without a doubt say "I do."  So my ring has stones and I own it.  Mike is going to buy me a plain, pretty band.  Interestingly there is no need for Mike to have a ring, but we're modern and want to roll like that, so he's getting one.  Plus we need a way for him to fend off the ladies once we're married, right?!


My Shoulders
Without saying too much about my dress, I was worried my shoulders needed to be covered while under the Chuppah... or that I needed to be wrapped head to toe in fabric. (to be slightly more conservative, ya know?) Our Rabbi said so long as I am comfortable and not falling out of my dress, I am fine. 


Anyone have more questions for us to bring to the rabbi for Session Two of Prenuptial Counseling?

Holiday & 2010 Recap

We had a wonderful time in Florida with family!

My niece, Madelyne, 5 1/2 months old, did not lack attention.

She's such a sweet, easy baby!

My eldest niece, Eleanor, has my heart.  I love her to pieces!

I especially love this picture of my brother-in-law, Matt, and Eleanor trying to make the local peacocks spread their feathers:

We had a great holiday and shared presents and love.

It wouldn't be a holiday recap post without the family picture:

 
And then there's our tradition, a matching-PJ family picture:

I hope you had a great holiday and best wishes for a great 2011!
I'd do a recap for the year, but it's all wedding planning and the most recent update post should suffice.  (read: it would be redundant)

The best thing to happen to me in 2010? Mike proposing.

The best thing I hope for 2011? A wedding celebrating our love.

Best Wishes for you and yours for 2011!

  Happy New Year!

Holiday Homeshare -- Hanukkah!

When Nicci tweeted the idea to link up and share our holiday home decorations (#holidayhomeshare) I jumped on it.  So maybe Hanukkah isn't one of the major Jewish holidays, but I love decorating for it.  I mean, all the other kids are doing it, albeit in green and red, so why not me too? Plus with my Catholic upbringing I honestly cannot totally ignore the festivities.  So I bring out the blue, silver, and white and "get lit" for the 8 nights.

Without further rambling, here's the extent of our decorations in our 700 square foot condo:

Mike and I each light our own menorah.  His has three little clay rabbiot on them.  One day they are going to come to life and put on a clay-mation Hanukkah movie.  Mike's menorah hails from days of his youth.  My menorah makes it's 2nd debut this year, as a very good friend gifted it to me in honor of my conversion to Judaism on Dec 9, 2009.  Yesterday marked my Jew-versary!

We scattered more menorahs (technically menorote) around the house.  Look! There's one next to my mid-sized Scentsy warmer.  Also there's garland hanging from one of our "living room" lights.  Also? The kitchen table is decorated with a table-cloth and runner from Target.  Love Target.

Even the dog, Nora, gets in on the celebration.  We never buy her "clothes" but something about this sweater (from Target) screamed practical and cute (or a good excuse to buy it).  She's sitting near our electric menorah, which I love for it's tacky yet useful quality!

Happy Holidays to all! I hope you are surrounded by those you love. 

Best wishes for 2011!

Chuppah!

The Chuppah, or Huppah, (pronounced who-pah) literally means "covering" in hebrew.  It is also known as the wedding canopy.  The bride and groom, along with the Rabbi, and sometimes even moms and dads (if space allows) stand under this during the wedding ceremony.

"The huppah symbolizes the new home to which the bridegroom will take his bride. In this context, the appearance of the bride and groom together under a huppah before an assembly who have come to witness the event is in itself a public proclamation by them that they are now bonded together as man and wife. It is a prelude to intimacy, and thus a significant element in nissuin [marriage]. "

All huppahs need: four poles, or sides, and a covering.  The top must be covered, no exceptions.  A good friend of mine has a funny story about their florist, who made their chuppah, and ran out of fabric, so it was not entirely covered. I believe there was a tablecloth used to fill-in the gaps.  The space above your head must be covered!

 A fancy Chuppah example {source}

Here's what our Rabbi sent us, in regards to the chuppah:

We honestly do not know what we are doing for our chuppah, yet.  Three people generously offered to make us one and cousin Laurie offered to let us borrow hers from Hill Havurah.   For my sister's wedding, as her maid of honor, as directed I went to Home Depot to buy four, seven-foot tall wooden poles.  We then decorated them with ribbons, in her wedding colors, and covered it.  My sis and bro-in-law covered it with a beautiful piece of lace purchased in Poland, where we can trace our ancestry.  They have also offered to let us borrow this lace.

Because of so many people offering to help, we might just do it ourselves.  You are probably thinking, "What?! Why not accept their assistance?"  Well, see, we don't want to offend anyone by choosing one person over the other, so borrowing/making one ourselves leaves no one feeling like we chose one person over the other.

Sidenote: I've observed an interesting phenomenon with wedding planning.  Either people are dying to help, to the point of being over-helpful, or people don't help at all.  There are few people who master the skill of being effectively helpful.  In all comes with a good heart, I'm sure.  It's hard to please all the people, all the time.

Anyone else run into this?
Anyone have a chuppah they want to give us, no strings attached, and purdy?! :)



Disclosure: Snippets of this text were taken or inspired by The Huppah Or Wedding Canopy article on My Jewish Learning.  Most of it I already knew :)