(Wedding Recap) Honeymoon Death Defying & Dolphins

I have on record me saying that this excursion proved to be one of the most fun days of my entire life. 

A main reason this day was fun to the max amounted to the lack of safety precautions and the fact that this would never happen in the United States.  We're too wary of lawsuits and just generally people unnecessarily dying*.  This waterfall and those dolphins would never exist in any amusement park over here in the States.  And that is why it was so gosh darn fun.

Dunn's River Falls basically consists of rushing water flowing constantly at your face at about 30mph while you climb a 45 degree incline, over a mile. Fun, right?
Also there are no ropes or bars, just rocks under your feet, which of course you cannot see because the water is constantly moving over them.
However you are encouraged to hold onto stranger in front and behind you.  This genius move of holding on to someone's hand while climbing hidden rocks and water all over you face made me wonder how there was no medivac helicopter in sight. Or maybe it already left with someone else.
We can't forget the men filming the entire trek and hoping from rock to rock & reminding you that if you fall it's ok, because they'll catch you... on tape.  har har har.  Or that if your melons pop out, those too will be taped.

Overall it's a fun [death defying] experience, once you get to the end.  Then you're all like, "woah I climbed all that and lived to tell?"   Ultimately you feel like the coolest people ever with dry land under your feet.

I recommend everyone in good health who is not accident prone tries it.  Oh and all these old fashioned looking pictures are just that: taken from a waterproof film camera.  Everything gets drenched there at Dunn's River Falls.  Somehow all the guides jump from rock to rock with their cell phones and camcorders.  I guess you can say practice makes perfect? or not soaking wet.   So we overpaid** for an "old timey" 35mm waterproof thing to have these sweet images preserved forever. 

Then we headed to  DOLPHIN MANIA!

When we first started looking for a honeymoon destination I needed 3 things:  1) beach, 2) a man to bring me drinks on the beach, & 3) swim with dolphins.

As a kid I wanted to be a marine biologist and then a veterinarian.  I have this thing for animals and never lost the desire to swim with dolphins.  Such beautiful, magical, serene, smart animals.  Until you get up close to them. Then they look like aliens.  Giant, smiley, beady-eyed, smart aliens.

After the tour guides instructed us on how to do the hokey pokey (I kid you not), we were told to get in the 30ft water.  Just, go ahead, get in the water, like it was nothing big to be surrounded by 8 dolphins: "Climb down those stairs over there into a giant saltwater area and swim over to there and I'll meet you there."  Oh and then get in a straight line (while treading water -30 ft deep).  Then please don't move.  Oh and stay in that straight line.  Don't accidentally kick the dolphins while you're treading water & they swim by (Mike). No come back over here, but please stay in a straight line.

Then, don't forget to hang on:

This place was crazy.  Simultaneously they had no concerns and rules up the wazoo.  How they expected us to stay in a straight line while treading water was beyond me.  Also don't call the dolphin by a ficticious made up name (ahem, Sebastian) when his name is really something weird because the trainers don't like that.

It was a blast, though. A 100%, paid too much for the DVD & photos, bought shorts that say "Jamaica" on the butt, once in a lifetime opportunity blast.

And I will never do it again.

*honestly that's not the worst thing to be worried about
**only cost $22 American dollars at the resort gift shop