Friday, October 15, 2010

My First "No"

I hope everyone we invite to our wedding RSVP's with a big, fat "yes" followed by sixty exclamation marks.  Hell, I'll even settle for hoping the majority of people say "yes" and accidentally forget the punctuation.

Coming back to reality, I realize not everyone will be able to share in our day, but I still hope the people who mean the most to us can make it.  Ok, I will even take the necessary invitees' attendance along with approximately many of our closest, as well.

Invariably the "no's" will come in.
We'll sigh, understand, and pine for more of the opposite responses to show up.
It's never the people you want to come, or the ones you can live without, with the responses you want.

But, I didn't expect my first "no" would come so soon and from someone so close.
My Save the Dates still clutter our kitchen table!  There are no formal invites purchased or remotely close to chosen!

Still, life is busy happening and beyond my control.

A quick email came my way last week, one sentence, asking for the date of our wedding. I'm not gonna lie - I blushed and kicked myself for not sending out the Save the Dates, yet. {Sidenote: We are SO close to mailing them. I even bought stamps!}

A couple days later, while this friend and I were chatting, she shared beautiful news: her family is growing! How exciting and wonderful to welcome baby #2! I'm honestly thrilled for her!. I squee'd with joy and then my face fell a little bit, as I got selfish.  While honored to hear the news so early, I realized quickly why.  Her due date is right before my wedding.  She won't be able to make it, despite planning and having a huge desire to be there.

I totally get it. I mean, how could I not?
It's not like I'm going to stammer out: Yes, you must come with your newborn.  Sure babies can fly at 3 weeks.  Of course you'll be rested and ready to party.  Better yet, leave the babe at home.  It can totally get by without you.
Um, no.
I'm not an ass.

I love that she took the risk of sharing such precious news with me before disclosing it to the rest of the world.  It's not a matter of why she can't come.  It's just that I'll miss having her there, as I would any of my besties whose company I cherish at any event.  Our paths have yet to cross since college, and how wonderful a time and place to reunite.
Sadly, Mike and I were unable to make it to her wedding either.  Mike lost his job around the same time we received her invite, around the same time we started paying a mortgage for the first time.  The stars were not aligned.

And again the stars fail to fall into the right place at the right time.
So fouey.
I think this just means I need to get my butt out there to see the new babe, post-honeymoon!
And only "yes" responses from now on, ok?!

How do you process news you can't change, but wish you could?


  1. That absolutely stinks! We're actually HOPING people say no. (aren't we weird) to the tune of with our Save the Date's we are adding in a "but if you dont' think you can come have no fear, still save the date for the webcast of the wedding"

    And I also wish that my family had the same grace as your friend.... we have like 5 babies coming and all really young and it's like my sister and best friends and they won't do babysitting :(

  2. awww its ok dear, sometimes life is beyond our control. Your wedding is still going to be amazing and maybe after the wedding when you gwt your pictures you can bring them over when you go visit the baby!!!

  3. @Corrin - I hear ya on not having so many guests, b/c then it's cheaper! It's not like my friend chose to have her baby right before my wedding, it just happened that way. If she could bring her whole family along, I'd welcome it! But some things just don't turn out the way we hope. ANd that's ok :)

    @Teenage Bride -that is an excellent idea to bring the pictures!

  4. Queen Vic -- I have a confession to make. I am adopting a Himalayan whistle child, and the papers should be approved the same week as your wedding. But have no fear! I'll fly little Odell right back to DC and have him perform a song at your ceremony. Wouldn't miss it for the world! (x60)


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