Monday, November 14, 2011

If Bread Could Kill

Inspired by Laura Numeroff's If you Give a Mouse a Cookie

If you give a girl a loaf of free cinnamon raisin bread from Panera,
she's going to want to slice herself a piece
(especially when she's not feeling well).

So, she's going to need to use the brand new sharp serrated bread knife.

And since she's not feeling well,
she's not paying close attention and using the knife safely.

So she cuts her finger.
(pretty badly).

And so she's going to need a band-aid.
And if she asks you for a band-aid, chances are she might really need a trip to the ER instead.

Since she cut herself with metal,
the doctor going to need to give her a tetanus shot.

But since she runs a fever for days,
She needs another trip back for antibiotics.

And chances are, that's not the end of it.

When she notices a tingling sensation and lack of mobility,
the 3rd trip to the Urgent Care Center results in a trip to the neurologist.

The neurologist confirms nerve damage but
since she can't bend the finger, he think she needs a hand x-ray.

And since she needs an x-ray, she needs a freakin' hand surgeon to review the film.
Chances are, she might need surgery to repair a severed tendon*.

So, If you give a girl a free loaf of bread?
Please, for the love of wheat, pre-slice the bread for her.

*This is only a chance. I go to the hand surgeon this week to find out what they think!


  1. Oh my goodness how awful!! It's the injury that keeps on giving!! I'll be praying that the tendon is not actually damaged...

  2. No lie, when I was cutting and slicing and dicing this weekend, each time the knife got close to my finger, I thought of you :)

    Sending good thoughts that you don't need surgery!

  3. Oh no! I feel so bad for you with that injury. Not fun at all! I really hope you don't need surgery.

    However . . . I love your spin on "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie." I quote that book all the time!

  4. Oh wow!!! That's escalated like crazy! Hope everything turns out ok!!!

  5. i hope you are alright soon..this is something i would so do to myself.


Related Posts with Thumbnails