Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rules of Engagement

When Mike first proposed and we called friends with our great news, for some reason they immediately asked, "When's the date?" or "When's it gonna be?"
Like we had any clue that early on in the game.

We promised ourselves a week of celebration, enjoyment of this new status in our relationship, and no wedding planning.

Until I went out 8 hours later and purchased a wedding magazine.

Then all bets were off. I considered every date on the calendar.
Mike ignored this, until  SNOWMAGEDON 2010 (when DC achieved record breaking snowfall status for a combined total of 52" in one winter).  This Floridian loved/hated it.

Mostly, though, we used our "staycation" to iron-out our guest list and entertain dates.

When it finally came time for us to seriously consider an answer to that aforementioned question, it went something like this:

March 2011, because rates are cheaper in DC (offseason) and Vicki can take advantage of time off during Spring Break.
For a split second (our neighbors wielding good advice to have a shorter engagement) we claimed August 2010 before school starts up again, then remembered my sister's due date falls in July (she had her baby!) and that would be just plain mean of us.  Plus, we needed more time.
September 2010 holds my birthday and the Jewish High Holidays.
We found no dates to work with in November 2010.
The snow scared any major winter date out of me.
Back to March 2011, oh yeah we decided against that.
Then it became April 2011, since we never bothered to check when Easter fell in 2011. 
Mike's birthday falls in early April so we focused on Late April.
Somehow May 2011 became the best idea and we even put a hold on a venue for Memorial Day Weekend.
Mike received his acceptance letter to George Washington University's International Affairs Masters program a few months ago and we realized not only are my summers free, but now his too!
June 2011 fit well with our schedules, and our attendants schedules.
The last day of school for me falls on June 17, 2011.

Let's be honest here: the last week of school serves as a great time to wrap up the year, do fun arts and crafts, and enjoy longer recesses and maybe a movie or two.  I can take days off and not fret about my students, or even worry the parents think I love my future-husband more than my job.

It was decided: June 19, 2011.
The whole decision process took about 2 months, or more. After waiting 3+ weeks for the Rabbi to confirm his schedule, we set the date! (you might remember my lovely first VLOG on the matter).

Some people are surprised by our "long engagement."  It works best for us, considering our schedules.  Sure,  6 to 9 months is plenty of time to plan a wedding, but not when one of you teaches 20+ second graders and the other is going back to grad school!

Honestly, if timing was right and everything fell into place, I'd sure as hell marry Mike tomorrow.  Now I get to plan, plan, plan to my little heart's content (and watch plenty of My Fair Wedding, Say Yes to the Dress, Platinum Weddings, and of course Bridezillas, all while taking notes on how my day will turn out).
And drive Mike crazy.  That's what really matters anyways.

That leaves me to wonder two things?  Do you want to see news video footage of our engagement? SURE YOU DO!
How long was your engagement?  Is 16 months long to you?


  1. oh my gosh - I thought a year was SHORT! HAHAHA! I truly can't imagine having less time than that to plan... I mean, you are amazing and organized and great at sinking your teeth into something, but seriously. Wow.

    I can't answer your question.. *sighs* but I can ask one back - when you say "drive Mike crazy," I ask "crazy, how?" By doing what specifically? What's made him wanna pull his hair out so far? Perhaps he should guest-post?!

    I'm curious to know more of this,... I think it may be why guys put off asking.... no? All this planning and things to do...? Perhaps this should be an email convo. ;)

  2. Our engagement was about two weeks, I think. We never planned for a big wedding. We had 12 people, 13 if you include my 7 month old niece. It was perfect and it was us. I think whatever you decide works for you is perfect! And a June wedding in DC will be GORGEOUS!!

  3. wow i would go crazy with that much time!! We got married in 6 months flat and we planned the wedding in less than 4 :) I was totallly bored the last two months!

  4. It took us about 9 months to get it all together. But it doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, you're going to be together FOREVER anyway, right? :-)

  5. Platinum weddings! My fave! Lol!

    We were engaged for 11 months. We wanted to get married on 07.07.07 for obvious reasons. So, setting our date was super simple.

  6. We're going to be engaged for almost 2 1/2 years before we can get married, but that's because of finances, family being on the other side of the country, etc. 16 months ain't nothing! ;)

  7. Short or long, I guess all that matter is what's right for you ..because you will be together forever! love it! :)

  8. Speaking as the sister who just had the baby, early August would have royally blown. Not that I wouldn't have been there and as supportive as possible, but really, weddings are all about the big sister's comfort and convience - right?

  9. to each their own :) I know some people who got married in a couple of months after getting engaged and some 1+yrs. I guess it just depends on what kind of wedding you want.

    but yay for weddings!

  10. I always love to hear how/why people pick their wedding dates! I actually think 12-16 months is the perfect amount of time, you have plenty of time to figure out what you want, time to find your venue, and do all the projects you want, without getting burnt out.

  11. Our engagement will be 21 months long by the time we get married. Personally I can't imagine planning a wedding in less than a year and having a long engagement has allowed us to enjoy the planning process much more.

  12. I was engaged for almost 2.5 years! And I was glad of it. Granted, I couldn't get a lot scheduled and done with a 2 year head start, but Tony & I had already been together for 6 years, and I just wasn't in a hurry. We were both dealing with school and while our relationship was a priority, getting a piece of paper (albeit a very important piece) was not.

    Like you said, Vick, all that matters is what works for you, and making the most of what you have. :)

  13. I briefed Vince on this post. He said he was thinking more along the lines of 3 years. Maybe that's why I thought 1 year was short? *eyeroll*

  14. My engagement? I believe it was about 12, maybe 18 hours LOL

  15. Todd & I met in May, started dating in September, he proposed in December & we were married 6 months later in June....fast fast fast!

  16. We were engaged for a year, and I thought it was good to have a long time to get used to the idea of a major life change. Plus, what is lovelier than a June wedding? Congratulations.

    I'm visiting from SITS Saturday Sharefest. I enjoyed this post a lot!

  17. Stopping by from sits. I LOVE your blog. I'm now a follower. Please stop by my site for your chance to enter to win a Dyson Animal DC31 (http://bewitchinkitchen.blogspot.com/2010/07/dyson-review-giveaway.html)The giveaway is to US/Canada only though. But I do have worldwide giveaways from time to time. Take care!

  18. Visiting from SITS. I was engaged 12 months. I'm not sure how people do it any shorter than that.


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