Monday, August 23, 2010

When DJs attack

My first week back-to-school with my 20 second graders will be chaotic, fun, and busy.  The beginning of the school year is such a great time, but honestly I will have no time to plan a wedding or blog about it.  Thankfully I have 5 lovely guest bloggers lined up for your reading pleasure!
We all know things can go awry when planning huge events, such as your wedding (which you secretly hope will go without a hitch).  These posts over the next few days detail what can, and did, go amiss for 5 different brides.
Because we all need an outlet for stressful situations, and because some of their stories are too funny not to share, I bring you these bloggers for your reading enjoyment!

First up is Nicci from Changing the Universe.  As a wife and working-mom, Nicci faces the challenge of spending quality time with their ah-dor-able baby boy, Aric (love that spelling!) and bringing home the bacon.  We share a mutual love affair with our cameras and dislike of Brett Farve.  Nicci's great for a random tweet and for evoking food jealously through her scrumptious blog posts!

I married my husband on March 29th, 2008. It was an early spring day, a bit chilly and windy, but no rain OR snow (the snow held off until we were about to take off on our honeymoon!). I was determined to make the most of my wedding and laugh off any snafus that might arise and call them "Stories to tell the Grandkids."

There was the un-coordinated wedding coordinator who locked us INTO the church as we were trying to process out. Hilarious! I still laugh about that woman. There was the lack of bread for me to munch on before the ceremony, but I really didn't need it anyway.

But there was one problem in my wedding that to this day I still haven't been able to really talk about. The DJ.

I knew when we first met him that something was off and that I wasn't going to be happy. But soon-to-be husband assured me it was ok. We had very few requests, but they were very specific and very hard to mess up. We had three very specific songs we wanted played at very specific times. He didn't have 2 of them, so we made a CD for him.

We wanted "rat-pack" style music during dinner and a microphone at the head table for speeches and something special my sister had up her sleeve. His response? "Oh, I have some ice-breaker games we can play before the dance." I explained to him that that wasn't necessary, but he blew me off. Then, we requested to hold back on the clubbing music and country music, but otherwise, have at it.

This is what we got:

During the Grand March, he pronounced our last name wrong. Even though we told him several times how to say it and he spelled it phonetically on his little sheet thingy. Oh, and he'd double-checked with the hubs right before the march.

I can't tell you if we had rat-pack style music during dinner or not. He kept playing stupid "ice-breaker" games and interrupting our dinner time. At one point, he announced a game that we were all gonna play that was a "tradition in the bride's family." Um, buddy? Yeah, most of the bride's family is Italian. We don't play stupid little games like "Who has the most money at the table." Our traditions include shots of Annisette at the start of the reception, giving out awards for the most drunk family member, and bringing sacks of White Castle to the after party.

So I guess I got the quiet dinner atmosphere I wanted, if by quiet you mean children running around with forks and other people's shoes playing scavenger-hunt-musical-chairs.

The microphone? Not even at the table. I had to stand-up at my table, flag him down, and shout to him that I wanted the mic. Very becoming of a bride, no? Then, after each speech, he took the microphone BACK with him to play more stupid games even though we had five speeches to get through. Apparently we wanted the DJ to be the star of our wedding. Forget the heartfelt, hilarious speeches, bring on the PARTY GAMES!!!

The first dance and the wedding party dance went off without a hitch (thank the heavens above!). But then, oh then. My mom and I have this little thing that we do. When she re-married when I was a senior in high school, we performed "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen at her reception. We wanted to do the same at my reception. The DJ assured me up one side and down the other that he had that song. I asked if he was sure since we were already making him a CD, we could throw that song on there too. Nope, he was sure. I asked again and told him it was VERY IMPORTANT that he have this song. Again, he assured me he did. (Can you get a hint at where this is going?) That's right. He didn't have it.

It was at this point that I started crying. He had already been playing absolutely crap-tastic music at this point. I didn't notice too much, since I was still working the crowds, but I had noticed that no one was dancing. My mom flipped her lid. She was the one paying for him, after all! She stormed up to him and just ripped into him! She screamed at him about having a bride in tears because he sucked so bad. She asked if possibly he could play music from, oh, I don't know, any time AFTER I was born.

And then he turned into an ass. Whenever anyone would request a song, he would reply, "You have to ask the bride. Her mom yelled at me so I can't play any requests any more." Um, EXCUSE ME?!?! So that was fun, having people come up to me repeatedly asking if this song or that song could be played. At least I prevented any Spice Girls from gracing the speakers.

So then, it was the end of the night. Our final request to the DJ was that the very last song played of the night, the VERY VERY last song that was played, be "Yellow Ledbetter" by Pearl Jam. He played it at the end of the night ...... then played three more songs.

My mom had planned on tipping him in cash that night. Instead, she and my step-dad went out for a nice dinner the following weekend with some extra cash they had laying around :)

In conclusion: When it comes to wedding planning, go with your gut. Don't take the easy route and just use whatever company works with your reception hall (which is what I did). Do your research. If you leave the initial meeting with a feeling in your stomach that something isn't right, DON'T use that company. Or, have another meeting to clear up any issues you thought there might be.

All in all, my wedding day was fantastic. And honestly, if the DJ was the worst thing about it, then we did a darn good job! And I would relive that day over and over again .... even with the DJ from Hell :)


  1. Oh wow! I'm glad you enjoyed the day in spite of the horrible DJ!

  2. Oh my gosh how horrible!!! Ours didn't do so bad, but he did keep falling asleep at his table lol

  3. What a nightmare! Uhg. The music at my far off in the future wedding is SOOO important to me. If this happened to me I would be DEVASTATED. Not cool.

  4. Please tell me these details went on Yelp or some other review site so that no more families have to suffer at the hands of the DJ Douchebag.

    See, I can forgive a DJ for not having all songs on hand (even tho asked), I can forgive a DJ for playing the last song three songs too early (even tho he knew better) because really, those are small in the grand scheme of things.

    But ice breaker games? Ice breaker games. Ice. Breaker. Games. When you specifically said NO ice breaker games. Those aren't like one song or two. Those last awhile. Those, I could not overlook or forgive.

    You are a stronger woman than me. I can't say I would have behaved so politely. Maybe that's the real lesson here - how to stay classy despite DJ Douchebag. You win in the end. :)

  5. If that DJ would've been at my wedding, my brothers would have taken him out back and set him straight. (me red-neck Italian) You hit it right on the head with your DB Dj needing to be the center of attention. Horrible.

  6. Well I'm glad you can look back and still say the wedding day was great. Ugh, bad DJs are so not fun at all!

  7. Oh that sucks! For my dad's wedding I WROTE a song and had two friends record it. I sent him FOUR versions of the song. During the wedding i was like hey, can you play our song? He said it doesn't work on his system. I started drinking and eventually wanted the cd so i could play it in my car. Well he gave it to me and it had like a burn mark on it. I almost flipped. I never did get to dance with my dad that time. BUT I have it and we WILL be dancing to it at my wedding!!!


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