I swear this post would make a great sitcom episode. And if it was, it would go something like this:
Years ago when Mike and Vicki first started dating, there was a faux pas of a gift if there ever was one. Beyond the hooking up and the late night chats, yet still fresh in the relationship when not all isms were learned, we find the couple on their first round of Holidays together. Vicki, still a generic-catholic at the time, wanted nothing more than to make their first Hanukkah together memorable. She painstakingly purchased the 8 gifts, spent too much time wrapping them (since no guy ever notices anyways) and labeled each package with a different Dave Matthews Band quote. Mike loved it (we think).
But it was not until Vicki tore through the paper on her last gift from Mike that the hugs and smiles turned to trepidation and sneers.
A little background info: during Vicki's sophomore year at FSU, one of her roommates loved butterflies. Obsessed, even. Not only did they have a butterfly shower curtain, which, if it stopped there, would be fine. But no - it continued: butterfly shower curtain hangers, towels, and hand towels. Butterfly dishtowels took over the kitchen, down to the magnetic dishtowel hooks. There. Were. Butterflies. Everywhere. Not to mention, this was at the height of the butterfly trend, so as many articles of clothing as possible were adorned with butterflies. The stupid insects took over. And Vicki
But this never came up with Mike. Vicki had since moved on in her roommate experiences to a living with a gay man, who had more fashion sense than to make their living quarters look like Claire's Boutique threw up on it.
And of course, Vicki owned no butterfly items.
So it never came up.
Now Mike, in his ever-loving-new-boyfriendly way, went shopping with a girl for Vicki's special Hanukkah gift. However, it just so happened that this girl was not very close with Vicki. She was still a good pick to shop with for a gift, sure. But she also lacked the knowledge of butterfly intolerance.
And so, as Vicki unwrapped her present, meant to instill awe and wonder, sheer amazement and bliss, instead she opened the little jewelry box to say, "Oh. That's nice."
Mike: You don't like it.
Vicki: No, I mean, it's pretty. Very nice. I like the color on the wings.
Mike: I knew I shouldn't have bought you gold. I thought you could put it on your charm bracelet.
Vicki: [Thinking she could hide it at the back of her charm bracelet] Yeah, I could do that.
[and then to fess up] It's just that, well, I hate butterflies.
Mike: You HATE them? Who hates butterflies? They're like puppies. No one hates them.
The conversation went on something like that, for a bit, while Mike tried to figure out how the topic never came up, how he didn't know this about his
Because this item, now Vicki's favorite charm on her bracelet, became known as "The Butterfly of Honestly." It was this gift that prompted Mike and Vicki's "honestly always policy" to the point of over-sharing. Because if you're with someone, every nuance is worth knowing, down to their hatred of innocent bugs.
But now Mike never buys Vicki butterflies. And no one else does either.
Happy Hannukah! May your year be open, honest, and free of
butterflies things that bug you.