Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Butterfly of Honesty

In honor of Hanukkah, I share with you a funny, sincere and honest story of my first Hanukkah with Mike.  
I swear this post would make a great sitcom episode.  And if it was, it would go something like this:

Years ago when Mike and Vicki first started dating, there was a faux pas of a gift if there ever was one.  Beyond the hooking up and the late night chats, yet still fresh in the relationship when not all isms were learned, we find the couple on their first round of Holidays together.  Vicki, still a generic-catholic at the time, wanted nothing more than to make their first Hanukkah together memorable.  She painstakingly purchased the 8 gifts, spent too much time wrapping them (since no guy ever notices anyways) and labeled each package with a different Dave Matthews Band quote.  Mike loved it (we think).

But it was not until Vicki tore through the paper on her last gift from Mike that the hugs and smiles turned to trepidation and sneers. 

A little background info: during Vicki's sophomore year at FSU, one of her roommates loved butterflies.  Obsessed, even.  Not only did they have a butterfly shower curtain, which, if it stopped there, would be fine. But no - it continued: butterfly shower curtain hangers, towels, and hand towels. Butterfly dishtowels took over the kitchen, down to the magnetic dishtowel hooks.  There. Were. Butterflies. Everywhere.  Not to mention, this was at the height of the butterfly trend, so as many articles of clothing as possible were adorned with butterflies.  The stupid insects took over.  And Vicki hated found them extremely annoying. (But as a good roommate, tolerated it as I'm sure this roommate loved Vicki's cat,which aggrevated her asthma. Totally on the same level.)

But this never came up with Mike.  Vicki had since moved on in her roommate experiences to a living with a gay man, who had more fashion sense than to make their living quarters look like Claire's Boutique threw up on it.
And of course, Vicki owned no butterfly items.
So it never came up.

Now Mike, in his ever-loving-new-boyfriendly way, went shopping with a girl for Vicki's special Hanukkah gift.  However, it just so happened that this girl was not very close with Vicki.  She was still a good pick to shop with for a gift, sure.  But she also lacked the knowledge of butterfly intolerance.

And so, as Vicki unwrapped her present, meant to instill awe and wonder, sheer amazement and bliss, instead she opened the little jewelry box to say, "Oh. That's nice."

Mike: You don't like it.

Vicki:  No, I mean, it's pretty.  Very nice. I like the color on the wings.

Mike:  I knew I shouldn't have bought you gold.  I thought you could put it on your charm bracelet.

Vicki: [Thinking she could hide it at the back of her charm bracelet] Yeah, I could do that.
[and then to fess up] It's just that, well, I hate butterflies.

Mike: You HATE them? Who hates butterflies? They're like puppies. No one hates them.

The conversation went on something like that, for a  bit, while Mike tried to figure out how the topic never came up, how he didn't know this about his future wife wonderful girlfriend, and how the hell he messed this wam-bam-surefire-success-of-a-gift.  Vicki proceeded to defend herself while desperately trying to let Mike know she appreciated his kindness and loved the thought.  They went back and forth on whether or not to return the first piece of jewelry Mike ever gave Vicki, but ultimately they decided not.

Because this item, now Vicki's favorite charm on her bracelet, became known as "The Butterfly of Honestly." It was this gift that prompted Mike and Vicki's "honestly always policy" to the point of over-sharing.  Because if you're with someone, every nuance is worth knowing, down to their hatred of innocent bugs.

But now Mike never buys Vicki butterflies.  And no one else does either.

Happy Hannukah! May your year be open, honest, and free of butterflies things that bug you.


  1. OMG I love this! My freshman year my boyfriend at the time tried to do something special and bought me an Amythist(sp?) ring. Unknown to me we took his friend to look at engagement rings at a totally different store and I pointed to the exact same ring and said OMG that is the ugliest thing I have ever seen. He look horrified and I said whats wrong? To which he just said nothing and said he agreed with me. Jump forward 2 weeks and we were sitting in his living room with his mom and sister and he said its ok if you want to return this (before I even saw the package). So I opened it and procedded to put my foot directly in my mouth! I felt so bad but it was really UGLY and we did end up exchanging it that day and made the same promise to never hold back and to always be honest! I love your stories you are fantastic!

  2. Wow...I love this post:) awww
    Kisses, darling
    Enjoy your day

  3. How funny! But I do admit, I love the meaning behind it as my fiance and I hold honesty very near to our hearts in our relationships.

  4. hahahaha I could re read this story over and over and never get tired of it. I love it!!!

    Too funny and way too sweet

  5. That would be like if my future husband bought us tickets to Japan. My first roommate was Japanese and she was an awful person. Japan is forever ruined for me, and I have no desire to visit... ever. I'd be like, "Oh... wow... thanks..."

    I totally get your feeling.

  6. Oh yeah, that honesty factor is important. My husband was shocked when he found out I couldn't tolerate chile or velveeta cheese because I'd always been polite about it.

    Once honesty becomes the best policy occurs, life gets better. Until your too honest.

    "Kiss me."
    "Your breath stinks like a landfill today."
    "Well gosh, love you too honey."

  7. I had the same thing happen to me, but with a heart. I am not a big fan of hearts. It was a heart necklace. Honesty is really the best policy.

  8. I love this story! LOL! So funny. My husband isn't the smartest at picking out gifts for me. Our first Christmas together, (we had only been dating a month) he got me a ton of things. Way too much in my opinion. And it was all cheap stuff. He told me that he likes to give a lot of gifts. I was very honest with him and told him I would much rather have ONE gift that I will love/actually use than a ton of cheap gifts that I won't ever use. He's getting better.

  9. My husband and I have shared of few of these moments, too. Nice and awkward...

    Happy SITS Day! Enjoy the comment love today.

  10. You're right! Who can hate butterflies? They are just so spiders...I I'm TERRIFIED of spiders. They literally give me nightmares.

    Happy SITS Day!

  11. Happy SITS day! Great story. I do think the butterfly he picked out was really pretty. I think it is so sweet on the SITS site that you said you see yourself as a Mommy Blogger in five years. I just thought that was really cute.

  12. I love the bracelet, but can understand your butterfly intolerance. We all have a right to be quirky. Happy SITS day!

  13. That would make a great sitcom! That's a great story.

  14. This is a great story. The first Christmas of our married life my husband bought me a snake. That is right - A SNAKE!!! I happened to mention that snakes were cool. so he bought me one. A!!!
    That was 12 yrs ago - we laugh about it now!

  15. Visiting from SITS! The bracelet is super cute but... I too actually hate butterflies. They're pretty to look at... preferably from behind glass. Last summer my husband dared me to hit the butterfly enclosure at the local zoo. I still have nightmares.


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