Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Advice From One Who Knows

Next up is one of the very first blogs I started reading on a regular basis.  Jayme of The Tater Twins shares amazing posts about strength, love, and her adorable kids & family.  You can also find her on the Twitter: @Tatertwins.
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While Victoria & Mike are off doing the wedding and honeymoon thing, I get to guest post!  My name is Jayme, and I have been married to my husband Aaron for over 10 years now, and although we didn't have a wedding or a honeymoon, I thought perhaps I could offer some advice anyway.  Feel free to take it with a grain of salt!

Wedding Advice:
Invite people.  We went to the justice of the peace, and it was a spur of the moment decision.  Our friends were upset we didn't include them.  Our family was annoyed we didn't tell them we were getting married until a month after the deed was done.  So I think letting people know is a good idea.

Take pictures.  Even if you don't hire a professional photographer, have SOMEONE take a picture or two of you and your spouse on your wedding day.  We have no photos of that day, and it's one thing I really regret.

Buy rings BEFORE the ceremony.  As I've mentioned, our wedding was impromptu, and we didn't even think about rings until the part where the justice of the peace asked us to exchange them.

Honeymoon Advice:
Take one.  Even if it's just camping or something equally inexpensive.  We didn't take one, and have yet to have the opportunity to go on a vacation without the kids.  So take one while you can.

General Marriage Advice:
Accept the things you can't change.  We don't fight. I think some number of disagreements and that kind of back and forth bantering is ok, healthy even- if you work it out and don't let it get bottled up and fester- but no matter how much I argue with him, he doesn't argue back. He just doesn't respond to that. It took me a LONG time to learn that. But that's just him.

Your spouse is your BFF.  Aaron is truly my best friend. I can tell him anything. I can be myself around him. I am not the slightest bit self conscious in front of him in any way. And I  think that is the way it should be.

Be there for each other.  During our first year of marriage, our first baby was stillborn. The grief counselor told us something like around 75% of marriages that lose a child end in divorce within a year. For us though, we clung to each other in our grief. It brought us closer together. I don't know that I could have gone on without him. He's my rock.

Keep things in perspective.  After our baby died, when things got stressful between us, one of us would usually say something like 'We lost a baby, this is nothing' and the tension we were having about money or whatever would seem so trivial. It helped us remember what was really important.

Even though we've been married over a decade now, I still get butterflies when I'm thinking about him or talking about him with others.  He tolerates my love for the internet, my horrible spending habits, my lack of housekeeping skills. What more could a girl want?

Victoria and Mike- I have loved watching the behind the scenes wedding planning, as I never went through that.  I hope your day is absoutely gorgeous, and all the details fall into place.  I know you two are well on your way too an eternity of happiness!

~Jayme
http://www.tatertwins.com/
@tatertwins on twitter

11 comments:

  1. Great post!!! I've heard the take a honeymoon one a lot. We weren't planning to since we just bought a house, but I think at least an overnighter is in the cards now! :)

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  2. All really great advice. The fact that he still gives you butterflies? That's the best part.

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  3. Very good advice! Congrats on your marriage!

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  4. That's so sweet! Great advice!

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  5. Awwww, lovely post! and great advice!

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  6. See I am still glad my husband and I didn't invite anyone. Some people were mad but we are private people. I think I would have regretted it if anyone but us was there. We are weirdos though. You are so right about the pictures though.

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  7. Great advice! Especially love the "accept the things you cannot change" SO true!

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  8. Thanks so much for having me, Vicki! Hope you and Mike are having a blast :)

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