(Wedding Recap) Kettuba signing & The Bedeken!

First Mike and some buddies (witnesses) signed the kettuba (marriage contract).  From what I understand, since I was not there, shots were taken, high fives were given, and a general boy-good-time was had, amidst the seriousness.

The bedeken, in short, is the veiling ceremony.  There are many reasons behind why this tradition exists, and I enjoy this one the most:  In the Hebrew Bible, Jacob was fooled into marrying Leah who was completely veiled before and during the ceremony, instead of his intended bride Rachel. Jewish grooms today carry out this tradition to symbolically acknowledge that the bride is indeed one's beloved.

Mike came upstairs to the library (bridal ready room) with the kettuba  & his boys literally cheering him on!

I then signed our kettuba. Even though our contract was signed we were not yet officially bound to each other.  That takes place under the chuppah.

 

Isn't it beautiful? I'm so in love with our kettuba. Naomi  Broudo of Etsy made it for us.  Side-note: shipping something from Canada can take awhile and even get lost in customs.  Always leave extra time!

 Then our Rabbi said some official stuff & prayers (very technical, I know), and Mike placed my veil over me.

While blessing us, our Rabbi asked family and friends who were there to think of a special moment they shared with the two of us.  We had yet to even begin the marriage ceremony and tears were flowing already!

Mike kissed me one last time.

Everyone else headed downstairs.
I remained at the top of the stairs, ready to walk down the aisle!
Eep!

Thank you, Friends

A huge thank you for your comments, emails, tweets, & texts on that last post.  I know it was heavy, but as you bloggers know, writing is cathartic.  It's also reassuring to see/hear so many of you say how normal this makes me, while meanwhile feeling the opposite.

There are a bunch of ideas rattling around in my brain now, volunteering opportunities, hobbies to expand on and avenues to explore.

So, thank you, friends.
Thank you to so many of you I never met in person, but who care about me deeply.  Our twitter & blogger friendships may have roots on the computers, but the love is deep!
I am looking forward to meeting so many of you and hugging you hard at BlogHer '12 next year!
I am going!
And THAT is something to look forward to!

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Rock-Bottom or Bottom-Rocks?

Hi there.
It's me, taking a break from the Wedding Recap posts to bring you an up-to-date post in which I do not wear a white fancy dress.

Because in all honestly I'm floudering somewhere in reality.
I've come down off the wedding planning high and am left wondering, what now brown cow?
For so long a driving force guided me, pushed me, motivated me and excited me.
And now I am turning 30, feeling bored, writing a ton of thank you cards and questioning my career choice.


I look at my students, who at age seven have such high hopes and aspirations.  They dream of becoming whatever they want and will go far.
And then there's me, staring at them, wishing I had what they have: opportunity.
Woah there drama.

I put much thought and alcohol into this state of mind, lately.  I cried hard, ugly, out-of-the-blue tears to Mike who told me I can do anything I want, that I will find something to stir me forward.  I talked with my hair stylist who came up with some really funny ideas and hobbies to try.  I bounced ideas off my personal trainer and we actually made some headway.
And yet I feel unfulfilled and so unsatisfied.

My sunshine and rainbows are clouded by rain and poop.
So my options are:

1. go back to school & get a masters in something education related
2. yoga teacher training
3. photography classes
4. go back to dancing (modern)
5. Nia classes
6. have a baby

I'm totally kidding about that last one.  Because you shouldn't just have a baby if you're bored.  Imagine that convo later in life: "Oh I was going through a rough patch and needed something to do so we decided to have you!"  Totally Lifetime Movie worthy. Imagine the therapy bills from that one! Plus we're not starting a family yet.

Looking at that list, nothing satisfies me long term, and I don't see any of them going far:

1. I strongly disliked college classes and refuse to sit and be lectured again, even in a specialized field of my choosing.  (really ironic, considering I am a teacher, right?)
2. I don't want to teach yoga, but I enjoy practicing it.  This could work to further me emotionally and mentally, though.
3. I always enjoy taking pictures, so this works.  It doesn't go much farther, though.  What will I do with these new-found photography skills?
4. I have yet to find a community of welcoming-fun-down-to-earth women who are not competitive and superficial.  Dancing is a passion and something I will only do if comfortable.  And this also fails to further me long-term.
5. This was my personal trainer's idea.  She does Nia and swears with my dance background and joy of motion, that this will be the answer to my search.  However, I've never even taken a single Nia class!
6. We clarified this was an honest-to-goodness-not-happening thing.  Maybe Mike will buy me a puppy?!

So what do you do when you hit this rut?  What works to fish you out of your pity-train riding experience? How do I find that itch and pull and forward motion again?

My 2nd graders are actually doing a good job of keeping me preoccupied. I love them. I love my school. I just don't want this forever.

How do you keep things real?
Now accepting solutions.

(Wedding Recap) Exchanging Gifts

After the bridal party shots, we headed back to The Carnegie Institution to cool down, take some family portraits, exchange gifts and sign the ketubah (Jewish marriage contract).

 

 Oh, and kick our heels up, apprently.

The first thing I gave Mike were his cufflinks & personalized handkerchief. In the hotel room where he got ready, I left these gifts on display for him to find.  

The handkerchief reads, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" in Hebrew.

The cufflinks have our wedding date on the back-side.

 A year before our wedding date, I framed the article about our engagement at the zoo.  I then stored the finished product in my trunk for a long while, then wised up and hid it at a fellow-teacher's house.  I was beyond excited to give him this gift after having it so long!

I think he liked it (and I do too!!).

(We still need to hang it in our house...)

Mike added on to my Pandora bracelet with a wedding cake charm! It's so sweet and cute and makes me smile every time I look at it. One of those "aww" moments.

I love it!

But then Mike shared something with me he worked on for over a year.  When he first launched into the explanation, my excitement and shock looked like this:

Then this:

and this too:

because he turned my blog into a book!

But because he wanted to get every last post included, right up to the wedding, he told me we would actually create it together.  And we did. It came in the mail recently and I LOVE it.

Best. gift. ever.

Oh, and this is my favorite wedding picture. ever.

so romantic.

so fabulous.

{all fab photos by Studio Juno}

(Wedding Recap) Bridal Party Shots!

Let me start out by saying we had the best attendants.  Our groomsmen & bridesmaids (have you heard them called "bridesbabes" ?!) were fabulous.  Whats more, we couldn't imagine better people to stand up next to us as we said our vows.
Thankfully, we have these awesome pictures to prove it:

But honestly, THESE are the pictures that really show how much we love them:

Oh, those boys...

The ladies:

Such hams! Love it!

I wouldn't have it any other way!

(and yes, there is double meaning in the title of this post...hence the great photos)

{said great photos, by Studio Juno}

(Wedding Recap) First Look!

Mike & I knew we wanted to see each other before the wedding ceremony.  The Bedeken, a veiling ceremony part of Jewish tradition, requires the groom to place the veil over the bride (post with pictures forthcoming).  This means you see each other pre-nuptials, anyways.  We took advantage of this and also did our bridal party photos beforehand as well.

But first, we had to see each other.
And the very first time Mike laid eyes on me in my pretty white dress & I saw him in his dapper tux, was a surreal, moving moment.

PS.com: I knew I just had to walk down this staircase the first time I saw it on our tour.  We joked for months about me falling down it, with my four inch heels.  I owned that thing.  No problem.

Almost there...

Still waiting to see me...

Doesn't the excitement just slay you?

Aerial view

And supreme happiness/excitement/everything!

kiss!

I absolutely love these first look pictures.  This moment is one that never fails to cheer me up when I'm down. I remember it so fondly.  I waited so long for Mike to see my dress, see me in that dress, and everything to come together.  Seeing him all spruced up and in a tux? Amazing.  

and here. we. go!

{photography by the supremely talented Studio Juno}

Wordless Wednesday: Cabbage Rose

{Amazing photography by Studio Juno}