Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Bachelorette Party, DC!

Due to scheduling, the complications of life & trying to get calendars aligned, I am one lucky bride-to-be who will go out on the town twice to celebrate my single-status!

My bridesmaids will be treating me to a night in Atlantic City next weekend!!  This past weekend I partied it up with my local friends in DC.

And this is the mildly edited version of the events of the night.  Because they are so edited this post will most likely portray the events of that night as the most boring bachelorette party ever.  But it wasn't. It was fabulous & scandalous, as bachelorette parties should be.  Mom, Dad - I'm sorry, you probably would be better off not reading this.  You raised me to enjoy life, and so I did!

The night began innocently with Sarah realizing she left her ID back home in Virginia.  We schemed plans of how to sneak her in, the diversions and flirtations we'd create to distract bouncers, and the lies to tell to gain access.  We came to find out you don't really need an ID to get into bars or get drinks if you're creative.
And we were just that!

As we sat and sat, we experienced the dreaded horrible service at a great restaurant.  But because we had extra time to ourselves (see above: horrible service) we used it to our advantage and created "the list."  Sarah, Stacy, Todd & I drafted my to-do list of things to accomplish before the night was through.  Oh and yes, I did mention a guy's name.  Todd, one of our groomsmen, served as my bodyguard, escort, and token gay guy for the night.

My to-do list grew as the night went on, as logically it's more fun to make me do obnoxious things.  I think it consisted of:
  1. get a guy to buy you a drink
  2. get a condom from a guy
  3. feed a guy chocolate
  4. kiss a bald guy's head 
  5. kiss a married man's wedding ring
  6. kiss a lesbian on the cheek, or vice versa (let me tell you, THIS one was hard.  Have you ever walked up to a woman and asked her about her life choices?!  Most women didn't appreciate that. at all.)
  7. get a guy to take off his shirt
  8. drunk dial someone
  9. drunk dial someone and sing a Katy Perry song

At a wonderful rooftop bar, we met up with Michelle, Rachel (or Rochelle as her alternate personality entails), Jenna, Sue, & Ashley.  Miraculously we managed to answer some questions right, swear up and down we didn't work for the alcoholic beverage commission, promised not to sue, recited her birth date/astrological sign/age and Sarah got in!! Also you can't party without your "Maid of Honor" -- Sarah definitely earned that honorary status last night! (My sis couldn't make it, but I love her tons and she's going to take care of me at the wedding!)
I accomplish most of the above list at this first bar.  However you can't cross things off the list if you don't randomly ask people to take off their shirt or if they want to eat a chocolate.  You would honestly be surprised the number of men who don't carry condoms with them.  I'm just saying...
You'd also be surprised at the number of guys who don't want to buy some random drunk bride-to-be another drink.  Geeze!

Every time I crossed off a list item, I took a picture with the culprit:
 He gave me a condom. I honestly felt badly for taking it.

Hi, um, will you eat this chocolate?

This guy also gave me his business card. WHO does that?!  Why give a girl who is about to get married your number? Does that really sound like something that will pan out?!  right.

Even better than his expression, is his friend's expression behind me.

This guy actually asked me to kiss his head since I kissed the other guy's head. 
Men are silly.

This guy is totally not fazed by the fact that I asked to kiss his wedding ring.
Totally cool with it.

She was so excited to buy me a drink. I love when people get in the spirit!

After realizing that my random requests of people were repeating themselves, we knew it was time to change up the scene.  What better place to go then a gay club?!  Unfortunately changing the scene caused us to loose people in the shuffle.  Already at that point I had no idea who was where and why, etc.  I feel really badly about loosing people!!

So I looked for them.
There was a dog in this car, so I asked the driver to pet it.

On the way we found two lesbians! And they were holding hands, so I didn't have to awkwardly ask some ladies of her status!  Cross that one off the list!

Luckily this insurance broker gave me his card.  So glad I have that now. 
Why do people want to give brides their number?

Once we arrived at the gay club, we used our powers of persuasion, batted our eyelashes and Sarah got in again!  We used the Maid of Honor line again, along with the "oh no, where is it, what do you mean you don't have it?" line! score.

 This gay club was amazingly fun.  And you don't have to worry about guys trying to give you their numbers.  But wow, can those men DANCE!

We arrived in time for the end of the drag show, where I took a shot with Persuasion, or whatever her? his? name was.  She liked the shot. I liked being on the stage.  It was a win-win situation.

That tuck cannot be comfortable.

I called up my hair stylist to see if he might join us, and he was already on the way! Fabulous!!
 I have NO idea what face I'm making.

Shortly after this Todd was given a bottle of water by a bouncer and very politely asked if he needed a ride home.  His response? "Why do I need to walk straight if I'm in a gay club?"  So Todd got kicked out.   (which is utterly hilarious.)

The night ended on a good note, as I refused to wear shoes anymore.
And I think I woke up still intoxicated.

Thank you to all the ladies (and gentlemen) who helped make the night memorable (or actually so much fun there are holes in my memory!)


  1. Sounds like you had an amazing time! Can't wait to hear what you do in Atlantic City!

  2. I seriously want a bachelorette party sans the getting married part later on you guys have all the crazy fun!

  3. OH my god I LOVE IT!!!!!! If this is the edited version, I can hardly imagine all the fun you had! Love love love it!!!!! So perfect! Love the to-do list, love the OUTFIT, love the forgotten ID because it gave you a challenge (those are the best), love the photos of it all going down, just freaking LOVE IT!

    And you get to do it all over again!! I shall print a copy of my "Luckiest Girl Ever" certificate for you - you're so lucky!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Glad you had fun... and you made it home safely

  5. Dammit, I just lost my comment.

    Looks like it was a great time :)

  6. Hahaha what a great time! love all the pics you took along the way! Made it worth the wait in the end it seems :)

  7. Love the photos! So glad you enjoyed yourself :D

  8. BAHAHA!!! Looks like you had a BLAST!!! LOVE IT!!! :)

  9. Ah I love this!! Looks like such an awesome time!


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