Thursday, May 26, 2011

Growing up/old

As the 24th of this month passed, I gained heightened awareness that my birthday is in the not-so-far-off future. Let's be real, here. It's only 4 months away. That's a third of the year away. No, I'm not going to start celebrating now and demand that we all celebrate the entire month of September, August, and sure why not July and June too, in honor of my birth.  The whole 'let's celebrate the whole week long' thing was so high school, I admit it.  I'm fine with only celebrating the day-of this event.
Because, while this birthday is monumental, it's also one I don't embrace.

I'll turn the big three-oh.
(cue the dramatics)

With the wedding occupying much (ok, almost all) of my thoughts I nearly forgot to get excited/worried/begin freaking out.

Part of me feels anciently old (redundant, yes).
And if I'm being completely honest (and why the hell not) I see so many women who wed younger and started their families already.  I wonder if my timelines is off.  I worry about conceiving children.  I heard a women's eggs start dying around age thirty.  I'm paranoid about being old.  I want to be able to chase my kids around and be active, not old and lazy.

Part of me feels youthfully young.
I have so much time ahead.  I am getting married now after being able to travel with my fiance, live a fun life of going-out and staying up late, and continue this trend for as long as we like.  There are no limitations, aside from my own, and there's no reason to change.
The other part of me feels too worried about my upcoming nuptials to let anything else bother me.

So that's that.
Turning 30, worried about getting old, worried about growing up.
But honestly? I'm a little happy to be tying the knot before 30.
Check it off the list.


  1. Turning 30 didn't phase me like it freaks out some people. My father called me though and in the conversation called me old- I remember thinking if *I* am old, what the hell are you? LOL

  2. I feel EXACTLY the same way. I remember when I turned 26. I was devastated, because by the time my mom was 26, she had two children, a career, and all the trappings of "a woman's fulfilled life" (whatever that is).

    I pretty much still don't have any of those things. And one day after you, I will too be hitting the big 3-0. It all still bothers me a little. Just because I know we're not done traveling and having a good time. So I worry that I won't have children until I'm getting close to mid-30's. And by then, will I be able to? Can I even have them now? Who knows.

    All I do know is that I have a wonderful life unfolding in front of me, and I can worry needlessly about what's around the next corner, or spend my days in blissful ignorance taking it all as it comes. I'm pretty sure that most days, I prefer the latter. :)

  3. I'm only 23 and I already feel like my timeline is off. I know soooo many married people. Some of my friends have more than one kid! My roommate is engaged and she's only 21. And don't even get me started about how many people I know who are pregnant right now. It makes me furious.

    Seriously, I keep a list of all the people I know (even only a little, who are around my age) who are married, have children, engaged, or pregnant and it is pretty darn near 100 people. For real...


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