Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Separation of Self and Me

I have an amazing career which allows me to be two people at once.
I can be myself while doing my job; I can be myself while at home.  But who I am in my personal life differs only slightly from the persona I capture while working. Still, there is a separation.

I teach.
Precious, young children are trusted into my care for 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week.

I am a normal person.
When I don't bring my work home, I like to practice yoga, take pictures, shop, go to happy hours with friends, bbq and sometimes even run for fun (and I love mac n' cheese).

Like separation of church and state, I am the separation of instructor and someone-trying-to-live-a-normal-life. 

As Mrs. S, I more patiently listen to my client's needs than I sometimes do to my husband's fantasy football stories.  Mrs. S also gets serious and down to business faster than Vicki.  Vicki tends to allow piles to accumulate at home, while Mrs. S attempts to keep up with the grading and filing at a much faster pace. 

I love working in a profession where I can really keep my personal life private, other than to my coworkers and what I choose to share with my students.   It is very compartmentalized, neat & tidy, and I like that. The parents and students are more like clients, and sometimes I don't always want them get to know the real me.  I have an image to uphold as a role model, which I take seriously.  Less is more.
(sidenote: not that there is anything about the real me which would cause anyone to think twice)

I honestly feel like this blog was a part of me, as Vicki.  
And it still is, to an extent.

I know and understand that everything I write on this blog is public.
I accept that every time I hit the "publish post" button.

I thought it went without saying this is/was my Vicki-space.
I never write about what happens in the workplace (as no lawyer, doctor, or nanny would do, without first consulting their client).  I have no reason to write about the workplace, as this is a blog about Vicki, not Mrs. S.  Yes, Vicki plays into Mrs. S, but Mrs. S does not play into Vicki.

So when I heard through the grapevine that parents of students I teach/taught read this blog & was able to back that up with my Google Analytic results for visits to this site?  I was honestly heartbroken, defensive, mad, sad, and then proud.

Perhaps to anyone who clicks through this blog (and some local "researchers" did 10+ posts-worth) comes away thinking, "Gee, that Vicki girl sure is neat."    

I hope they walk away smiling and laughing. 
(Not, "Gee, that Vicki girl sure is boring.")

But do you really need to know what outfits the teacher of your student wears on Saturdays? Or recipes she favors? or that her husband spoils her?  Does that make her a better teacher?
Because the girl in this blog is not Mrs. S -- It's Vicki.
And she'd kindly like her public, yet personal, space back.

Yes, the 2nd/3rd person writing has thoroughly confused me.
CrowndVic, out.


  1. As a parent, I would never dream of searching for my kids' teachers online. I honestly don't want to know them like that. In fact, I am friends on FB with my son's teacher this year, but was friends with her before because we graduated high school together. And I don't like knowing her personal life, so I've hidden her for this year.

    It would be different if the teacher had some sort of education blog. Then I would definitely check that out. But a personal blog? No, I want to keep that teacher/parent professional relationship. Likewise, I don't want them knowing what I do on my personal time.

  2. Well said! This is something I often worry about when I become a teacher (years from now).

  3. Hmm, what a weird situation. I'm nosy, and if I new one of my kids teachers blogged, I might search for it. But then, as the daughter of a teacher, I think I have a good understanding of how teachers are one person in the classroom and someone else on their own time.

    I think if I found the blog, I'd probably check it out and forget about it unless something seemed inappropriate or whatever.

    And if you were one of my kids teachers, absolutely nothing I've read here would concern me about you, or your ability to educate my kids.

    I don't have to worry about my work crossing with my personal space, as I have no job... but I get that it would be weird. To compare, the readers that make me feel as if I have to watch myself are my inlaws.

  4. How I feel about this post:

    (note: I wish I could have coded this in HTML. But you can click the link and get the idea)


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